(2) Psalm 116

Hello again!

I am settled in to my new home on Vine Street, in the north end of Hartford and it is wonderful :) It was surprisingly easy getting settled into my room - and might I add my room is incredibly cute. It is a large 4 story house (including the basement) with never ending flights of stairs, too many locked doors and uneven wood floors. I look at the house as a haven, a ministry in itself. Beautiful and bold, standing out in the neighborhood with its colorful trash bins, wooden peace sign sculpture and a large garden filled with adventure. Inside are people on fire for Christ, it just doesn't get any better than this.

( My Room )

My fellow interns are wonderful and have blown away any expectations I had about what they would be like. There is Kelsey; the outgoing blonde from Illinois. Kyle; the articulate spiritual warrior from Wethersfield, and Paul; the passionate eccentric from Massachusetts.

We moved in and then packed up to spend our second night at Camp Wonposet. We had an amazing bonding experience as everyone shared their life stories and answered questions about themselves.

I learned a lot from hearing their testimonies and partaking in the many discussions we had. I learned that we all struggle with the fine line of doing things for God, and doing things with God. We all seem to be perfectionists when it comes to following Christ. We want to do everything perfect, and so we begin to obsess about our own personal walk and how we can be more like Jesus. This of course is a good thing, but it can actually end up taking you away from God. You become so self consumed with what you have to do next that you forget about the right now. You forget about helping and loving the people around you, and instead focusing on the people that you have yet to meet. I have struggled with this issue a lot in the past two years. Since I have returned from the Dominican Republic last summer I have gone back and forth with the thought of simply leaving everything I have behind and becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ. But what truly is a disciple? In Shane Claiborne's book, "The Irresistible Revolution" he talks about "Rather than accumulating stuff for oneself, followers of Jesus abandon everything, trusting in God alone for providence." Now, I wonder how realistic this really is? I mean I've heard of people doing it, and to me it sounds like a wonderful plan, but what is the plan really? Where do I go? What will I do? I suppose I'm contradicting the passage because it quite simply says "trusting in God alone for providence," so worrying about the next step is really not an option. Is this truly realistic thinking? Shaine goes on to say this,"Jesus warns people of the cost of discipleship, that it will cost them everything they have ever hoped for and believed in- their biological families, their possessions, and even their very lives. He warns them to count the cost before putting their hand to the plow." So who is meant to do this, and how do they know? I will be honest, deep in my heart I want that. I want to be a true disciple. It is the only reason we are alive here. It only makes sense.. I could go on forever on this topic, so instead I'll just move on.

I learned that I don't need to be constantly worrying about what I need to do or change next, instead just relax, walk with Him and be at peace. If you are truly walking with Him, He will show you what to do next.

Someone brought up this wonderful phrase, " The striving comes out of the abiding."

Instead of striving so hard to be like Christ and obsessing over being close to him, just abide in Him, be in His word, experience intimacy with Him and the abiding will just come naturally.
This gave me much needed hope.

(The Sunset at Camp Wonposet)

Lastly, if you have a second I found a section of verses which completely describes who I am now. Apparently I had already found it because it was underlined and circled in my bible, needless to say God it brought it back to my attention while I was searching for scripture to aid me in telling my life story. The passage is Psalm 116 and I encourage you to read it, you may find it similar to you.

Once we arrived home from the camp we had a house meeting to go over some of the community guidelines, and by the time I walked downstairs the first floor was filled with friends and family of Hartford City Mission for a welcoming BBQ for us interns. We ate, we talked, we sat on the front porch and watched the neighborhood kids play frisbee and football on our small patch of front yard grass. We played guitar and took a trip down memory lane singing some old worship songs. We laughed and we loved, watching the cars pass by, occasionally a police car blaring its sirens as it passed. It felt like home. I think I'm going to like it here.

(The side of the house, you can slightly see the garden.)

Right now I'm just taking everything in and mostly looking forward to starting our week of orientation and prepping for the summer camp. Time with the kids can't come soon enough.

Thanks for reading, and have a blessed day!

In Christ,

Cheryl